Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Fash mag slag, and other tales of the zeitgeist
Please, everyone, can you tell me your opinion on gay marriage? The very fundament of our republic rests on this incredibly important topic.

Just try not to be so gay about it.

Turning to other crucial subjects that reveal the way we live now, my local "news" graciously took the time to introduce me to a man who has trademarked the term "govenator" in order to emblazon it on t-shirts and become rich. (I admit, I am a little hazy on the details of this whole "commerce" thing, but it definitely seems to involve fraud of some kind). I am, however, fascinated by the way this man decided to spell his useful and amusing contraction. I have already trademarked my own neologism for our next governer: the glimmenator. I expect to rake it in by cross-branding with special martial arts crystals.

And just in time, Maytag has released their personal beverage vending machine: "The SkyBox by Maytag brings the concession stand right to the living room, so you can savor the excitement of punching a soda machine without having to feed it coins or dollar bills." Thank God. That was close: I was teetering on the verge of running out of things to consume.

The final, and perhaps most epiphanic news item to which I would like to draw your attention: Scientists have found microbial communities thriving in slag dumps with a pH of 12.8.

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