Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Lessons from Thanksgiving
1. Under certain somewhat mysterious circumstances, a 15-lb. turkey can cook in 2 hours.
2. I understand nothing about football.
3. Paris Hilton and I are apparenly the only people in America who have never bought anything at Wal-Mart.
4. Make sure your flight is really, really delayed before you attempt to get on another one. Unless you enjoy spending the evening at the airport hotel with Old Grandad and the tragic salesman types.

Bear with me.

5 minutes later: Shit, I did shop at Wal-Mart once, but I was in Mexico so fuck off. Someone has to make NAFTA work. Plus, everyone is allowed at least one Paris Hilton joke per day.

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