Tuesday, July 06, 2004

To celebrate our nation's independence, I supported American, Irish and Italian distillery conglomerates, Spanish and Portuguese winemaking conglomerates, and South African and American brewing conglomerates. I was personally responsible for the death and subsequent cooking over coals of several species of domesticated animals. I consumed many hours of suitably flag-waving entertainment-content in the form of baseball.

And now, my fellow Americans, I have a headache. I will see you tomorrow, if I survive.

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