Thursday, December 09, 2004

clever and ill -- a combination by no means felicitous

As the USDA turns: one imagines the conversation began as a friendly discussion of how to better accomodate the desires of our nation's meatpackers. You know, like the Sausage King. But, like the composition of those sausages, you'd really rather not know certain things; like how the new Ag. Secretary Mike Johanns has already put in his time whoring GM food to Europe. And so effectively! (this shocking news thanks to the douchebags at CCF).

It is the season when a deluge of lists reminds one how mediocre the past year really was. It was not pretty as far as food books go: the only thing I bothered to buy on this list is an inferior edition of something that should have been published here 10 years ago. For those of you determined to consume regardless, I guess this one might be interesting.

There is something unsettling about watching people cannibalize their own lives for the sake of the muse. If you really love your vacation spot so much, why are you sharing it with the entire world? That said, it is actually quite a good piece, and it is nice to see, "no, really, I'M PUNK ROCK" mellow into "no, seriously, I'm NOT WEARING SHOES." So much less pitiful.

Finally: before you whine about the bad food your family will force you to eat for the holidays, I want you to contemplate whole-clove lasagna prepared by your murder-one parolee uncle. I thought so.

Warning: my earlier endorsement of prophylactic Pepto may have been... premature. Please consult your physician.


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