Last week was hard on all of us, so I've decided embark on a journey of discovery: one whole week of good things. First up: Three Thieves Trebbiano Tetra-Pak. All you need to know: $5.99/liter.
Details: this wine does not taste of anything tropical, oaky, or buttery (not to mention any petroleum by-products), nor is it "concentrated" or "intense". Refreshing but unthreatening acid, just enough heft to banish the specter of seventies overproduction. In other words, you will be able to taste and enjoy your food while drinking this wine.
One can only imagine how this douchebag would score it. Oh shit, did I already fall off the wagon?