send in the clowns

Dick Johnson must be hard up: Page Six resorts to chefs of dubious celebrity today and their little catfight about foie gras: Charlie Trotter served foie gras at a F&W party, even though he refuses to serve it at his restaurants. When the guy from Tru called him hypocritical, Trotter replied, with amusing grammar: "He can't be that dumb, is he?" Now, just because the other guy did completely miss the point, it doesn't mean that Trotter's not a douchebag. For more edifying discussion of foie gras, visit Derek [& pix].

Speaking of douchebaggery, the latest list of the most loathesome New Yorkers has our old friend Adam Gopnik at #12 (beating out Rocco, Bruni, and Thomas Krens among others). It is entertaining to watch others insult the objects of your own scorn, but this list is always so arbitrary it sucks the fun out of the excercise. For example, there is no way poor Gopnik is 3x more loathsome than Krens. And he should get off on a technicality anyway: isn't he a Parisian? Or at least a citizen of "the world"/Canada/Ohio.

However, that does not excuse his latest "review" of possibly the three most boring food books currently in print (along with two interesting ones). Nodding off, you'd swear it was really written by Louis Menand, if not for the telltale opening line: "There are two schools of good writing about food: the mock epic and the mystical microcosmic." Fuck, I'd rather read about clown food.

Since everyone apparently made lamb last week, there's no need to describe mine, except to say that it was good even though I overcooked it. If you just can't let it go, check out the Cod's greek gigot. Update: for next year, 14 recipes from Peter Hertzmann.

Minutia: Paparazzi pics of Slavoj Žižek's Beuno Aires wedding (wha?); Salmon farms are worse than you thought; Nature learns that Bt10 corn has an ampicillin resistance gene -- Syngenta just forgot to mention it; Because we're all about grain here, I should inform you of: Nike L. Ruibal-Mendieta et al., "Spelt (Triticum aestivum ssp. spelta) as a Source of Breadmaking Flours and Bran Naturally Enriched in Oleic Acid and Minerals but Not Phytic Acid," JAFC 53, 2751-59. From the abstract:

Results showed that, on average, spelt wholemeals and milling fractions were higher in lipids and unsaturated fatty acids as compared to wheat, whereas tocopherol content was lower in spelt, suggesting that the higher lipid content of spelt may not be related to a higher germ proportion. Although milling fractionation produced similar proportions of flour and brans in spelt and wheat, it was found that ash, copper, iron, zinc, magnesium, and phosphorus contents were higher in spelt samples, especially in aleurone-rich fine bran and in coarse bran. Even though phosphorus content was higher in spelt than in wheat brans, phytic acid content showed the opposite trend and was 40% lower in spelt versus wheat fine bran, which may suggest that spelt has either a higher endogenous phytase activity or a lower phytic acid content than wheat. The results of this study give important indications on the real nutritional value of spelt compared to wheat.

Also [from an earlier study]: "The claimed innocuity of spelt in gluten-sensitive patients was not confirmed."

[Page 6 and New Yorker links will expire almost immediately].

three words

What the Fuck?

This deserves its own post.

I hope Nino can get the bonnet lasered off.

slow news day

At least until the quake in sumatra. Can't wait to see what DeLay has to say about this one. Still, isn't there some kind of statue of limitations to prevent people from looking for foghat on the internets?

You can now find a picture of the offending digit on the internets, but I'm not going to link to it for your own good. Regina, who is hinting at permalinks, has christened this the Rocky Horror Chili Show.

A.A. Gill on organic food:

So what does organic actually mean? Buggered if I know. It usually means more expensive. Whatever the original good intentions of the organic movement, their good name has been hijacked by supermarkets, bijoux delicatessens and agri-processors as a value-added designer label. Organic comes with its own basket of aspiration, snobbery, vanity and fear that retailers on tight margins can exploit. And what I mind most about it is that it has reinvigorated the old class distinction in food.

He is confused about details, but he makes some good points. Bonus: he appears finally to have realized the problem with his "style" of criticism:

Mark this well. Because, to my mind, Eat and Two Veg is the worst restaurant in London [yawn].... It devoutly made me wish I had never used the word inedible before....

Unfortunately, the garbled version at AgBioView trails off here [bugmenot wasn't working at the Times], but you can see where he's going.

Speaking of class: French bloggers don't get fat...

The Times finally sees fit to report on the Mexican Biosecurity law.

And Slate is sticking to its semiannual mediocre food article policy.

God, how I wish the Times had published this last week, to provide a perfect link for "bonnet" in last Wednesday's post.

The shocker

"The finger had been cooked at a high enough temperature to kill any viruses, including hepatitis or HIV, and it was unlikely that she will suffer any health effects from her experience, aside from psychological trauma."

Update: further (gruesome) details in Thurs. print story.

people are talking about...

Is it just me, or is Steingarten's rice article in the new Vogue (Drew Barrymore) more coherent than he's been in a while? Maybe it's because he was my first love (among food writers), but he's seemed a little perfunctory for the last couple years. But the "wild rice is neither wild nor rice" thing is getting a little tired -- especially because he already said that rice is a grass, and then later explains that real wild rice is in fact wild. I guess it's just not catchy enough to explain that Oryza and Zizania are different monocots.

Also, has anyone besides Barrymore made the cover of Vogue after Playboy? And what did Marc Jacobs do to get Cindy Sherman for his ad? Casts a whole new light on History Portraits, doesn't it? You are probably as tired of the edible schoolyard as I, but at least they made Alice lose the bonnet for the photo shoot. And one more thing: instead of "Spain is the New Tuscany," how about "Condé Nast travel writing is the new Special Olympics" (also old news I guess).

Today's Times suddenly seems as good as it's supposed to be. Johnny Apple's Smithfield Ham story is the best thing he's written in a long time, if only for the relevation of Betsey's family's "side meat" custom. It's no Las Halles, but the death of Fulton Fish Market is at best an ambiguous augury. As for Bruni, I don't know whether to be grateful that he managed to review Della Rovere without mentioning Julius II -- is it possible he knows as little about Italy as France, or did he just discover restraint? Of course, on the heels of the Maureen Dowd embarassment, all this hardly matters. (Is this the "Watch! I'm taking my panties down" school of writing? [Rebecca Burke, whoever you are, I love you]). I couldn't even bear to read it; thank God Regina took care of it for the rest of us. And don't miss the Greenmarket love down the page (please get permalinks).

In LA, butter, herbs, and jambon persillé, Plus last week's highlights: Russ Parson's excellent strawberry story, and Corie Brown's report on LA County's ill-concieved venture into mycology.

Of course, what people are really talking about today is Nature which published a paper showing that Arabidopsis can somehow "fix" its genes. The "least mad hypothesis" is a secret RNA backup genome [Times article; Nature's news story]. I kid. Even though it's much less significant, people are actually talking about, the Syngenta Bt11 fuckup, which Nature broke yesterday. Not that you need me to explain it, but all this means is that we have no way to really regulate this industry.

Roundup: Congratulations to Robb Walsh for his much-deserved IACP article and book nominations. [His oyster article is here, in case you missed it]. Enchiladas suizas in the Chron (I had the originals last month, which was fun, but not the best enchiladas ever). The world of fried dough; Pittsburgh grassfed; Herve This in action. Last link via Bruce, who also unearthed the Quintessence de mes roustons in an article alleging the absence of terroir in Haut-Médoc:

Didier Daguenau, who produces outstanding Pouilly-Fumé wines, obtained an AOC label for his worst production, made with bad quality grapes, and which he calls "quintessence of my balls"

Meanwhile, American geologists claim to find Napa terroir, as reviewed by George W. Moore in (of course) this week's Nature:

This variation in personal preference is in marked contrast to the 'expert' opinion of wine-ranking services, which tend to favour blockbuster wines that are extremely intense, particularly on first tasting. This has led to winemakers letting their grapes hang as long as possible on the vines, and extending the time that the wines macerate on the grape skins. Swinchatt and Howell deplore the homogenization that this is causing to the taste of the world's wines. They recommend that consumers ignore the wine-ranking services, seek out diversity, and savour it.

Finally, someone just spilled a red hot latte all over his lap [defamer background].

what you sittin on?

Yes, I was busy this week. Consider yourself lucky I never got around to writing my geriatric observations about nodding off at the Gods of post rock's reunion show. Suffice it to say that it led me to invent The Other Pathetic Fallacy™, namely detecting intimations of your own mortality in every single thing that happens to you.

Some quick remainders:

On a roll: Bruce Cole interviews Harold McGee.

Considering that he doesn't even have a cash register, I thought this day would never come: behold the Kermit Lynch website. Read and learn. [via tfs].

Po(e) Mrs. Latte: they don't call him Friend for nothing.

Bacos? Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Fussy eaters won't like it when you deny them the fruit of the pig and replace it with a teabag of hate.

Visit the culinarily-inclined gurgling cod.

Unclear on the concept: soda bread, honey. No yeast.

Terry Castle's memoir of Susan Sontag is both touching and tawdry, but it does feature a spectacular description of the worst dinner party ever.

Quick, before last week's Times magazine expires: I'm not going to haul out the Ecclesiastes again for yet another Paris bistro article -- the more the merrier, but you'd think Bittman could spell Cerdon right. Now they're just taunting me. Still, beats the In Style-ish look-at-the-thin-woman's-bed! feature. (Partially mitigated by George Saunders's diet advice).

Watch diet faddism in action (Azalea, allow me to recommend some high-acid 30-10-10 instead. Do it for the Children.)

Plus, internet food fundies on foie gras. I love the internets.

Also: dietary Darwinism and Oaxacan biopiracy.

domino, motherfucker

Oh my total GOD! There's like these blog things? On the internets? And some are "about" "food"? How many of these fucking articles can there be? Considering that today's Times features pizza (in NYC? No way) and Priorat (OMG, did you know they make wine in Spain?) I imagine we'll be hearing about these crazy internets for long time. One might even say that it is "ironic" that we keep reading the same article about how many people are writing about food...

Congratulations to the Coalition of Immokalee Workers, which finally persuaded Taco Bell to pay them an extra penny a pound for Florida tomatoes. Globalization kills Washington apsparagus. The Alaska salmon industry gears up for GM Salmon. Meanwhile, Alan W. Dove reviews the animal biotech state of the industry in the latest Nature Biotechnology [sub. only]:

Unfortunately, efforts to improve a breed's edibility often run into a literal chicken-and-egg problem: the definitive assay of meat quality renders the animal useless for mating, even if it was cooked rare. Biotechnology offers an obvious solution to this problem, in the form of somatic cell nuclear transfer cloning.

The same issue also reports that 2004 biotech crop area reached 81 million hectares [data from ISAAA, where you can probably find it yourself].

After all this news, I have no energy today to explain to you what's stupid about our nation's papers. I would, however, like to draw your attention to Carolynn Carreño's investigation of spigarello (see also Mariquita's mysterious "broccolocavolo"), part of the LA Times's exemplary Italian theme issue. And note David Shaw's appreciation of (the unjustly unnamed) Autogrill (also publicly extolled by the previously maligned Mario). In fact, Autogrill is so awesome that our military may have to kill some Italian intelligence agents, just to show them we're still the fucking boss.

Finally, following a connection discernible only to me, I'd like to thank Sy Newhouse and the new Domino print ad for making me vomit in my mouth and ensuring that I will never again be tempted to fork over $5400 for a barcelona chair.

developing

Bookslut's J.C. debuts Saucy new food site [via the hag].

NYPL menu collection, digitized [via tfs].

"Convergence": KQED food blog; cf. also sfist food.

New directions in factory farming: Horizon Organic and chicken vacuum [latter via cd].

Oh no she didn't!

Controversy erupts on the intersphere when the unwashed are subjected to Steingarten's criticism of their pop idols. The horror!

OK, it does sound like JS forgot to take his meds; and personally, I'll take eye candy over Emeril every day. And, despite the excruciating pandering of both Brown and Batali (Steingarten's co-stars on ICA), they are really the least of Food Network's problems (as far as I can remember -- I haven't been able to watch for years). I wonder what got his panties in such a bunch.

Note to unwashed: Steingarten has a speech impediment, so mocking his speaking ability isn't really going to advance your cause.

[via tfs].

Also amusing: the bruni digest, devoted exclusively to you know who (I'm not going to link to that song, which was less amusing) [via RS]; the Institute of Food Science & Technology's official statement on "organic food", a hot new trend they apparently just learned about; team party crash follows Guiliano to the 92nd St. Y.; watch the pork board fritter/fiddle away (clumsy Neronian humor) the last of their shakedown money in anticipation of the inevitable Supreme Court smackdown.

Seriously: the Hidden Kitchens segment on the club from nowhere makes up at least partially for past disappointments [and don't miss the bonus John T. Edge essay].

fud

Stalkers notwithstanding, the Times is to be commended for adopting a faux man-in-the-streets pose this week, focussing on takeout, (complete with token outer borough action!). Nothing to mock for us out-of-towners this week (well, I'm sure there is, but then I'd have to read it). On the heels of yesterday's breathless what rock star chefs really eat [!!!!] article, it's practically Food Network over there. At least the copydesk appears to have figured out that potpie is one word: Regina's heroic efforts were not in vain.

Today's LA Times is exceptionally good: a short history of SoCal fusion in the form of Russ Parsons's profile of Kazuto Matsusaka; David Shaw breaks down the new Michelin; Corie Brown's autopsy of the French wine market is scaring me (in further Sideways fallout, the unwashed have figured out that Merlot is uncool, but I doubt this will have much effect on Pommery prices; also, Mexican wine trickles down to USAT); Charles Perry discovers the origins of chicken and waffles in Mildred Pierce the novel (it's not in the movie [or the song, come to think of it]); chicken and waffle background from the Express, and, via google, in Boston and Pennsylvania Dutch country.

Janet Fletcher -- who appears to know more French than anyone at the Times -- explains frisee in the Chron, with recipes; Wolke's fats for dummies; more on the Mexican GM law; Peter Hertzmann attacks chaud-froid with his customary obsessiveness; early returns from the Modern.

Eventually, I will get around to writing a little more about foie gras, but it will not add much to the excellent article Derrick wrote for the latest Art of Eating. Go. Buy it. And speaking of old media, John Thorne has finally updated his site, though it doesn't seem to make any more sense than it used to. Now, Thorne has written some of the best things about food I have ever read, but his reflexive contrariness quickly grates. His Saveur review of On Food and Cooking wasn't even coherent, and it had the unfortunate savor of (poorly excecuted) self-aggrandizement. Why?

Props to Sauté Wednesday, as usual, for links.